Swine Flu

As an avid hypochondriac, I tend to come down with the latest form of influenza or disease that gets a lot of media attention.  Bird flu?  Had it.  SARS?  Had it.  Hoof and Mouth?  Pretty sure I had that too.  :)

But for some reason, I have no connection to the swine flu.  No symptoms, no fear, nothing.

I came to that realization today after eating my second order of carnitas since the outbreak.  And let me tell you, this wasn't from a fancy restaurant.  This wasn't even from a cheap chain restaurant.  This was from a good old fashioned taco truck.  Menu full of mistakes, dirty, junky, taco truck.

I got a bit of a tummy ache at one point and never did my mind even wander to swine flu.  Everyone's minds have gone straight to swine flu to explain the divine to ridiculous.  Every inane cough, sneeze, or itch is swine flu.  But not me.  I have held steadfast.  And I attribute this all to my love of the pig.  Sure, I'm a crappy jew.  It might be poetic justice for the blatant and flagrant non-kosher jew to die from swine flu, but I think god wants me to eat carnitas.  And bacon.  And pork belly.  Oh god, pork belly.  

So, I lay down on the couch in the bathroom, had some water, and twenty minutes later I was fine.  Much ado about nothing.  Of course, I will be checking for a curly pink tail after my shower later.  I'm only human....